 Before
slinging on a harness to use with a male partner, take care to gently warm him
up.
You can start building the heat by sharing some fantasies when you're in bed
together. You can talk about how hot he is, and how well you're going to do him.
By the time you're advising him to clean himself thoroughly in preparation (and
if that's with an enema, at least two or three hours before you take him), he'll
already be right there, craving you.
When laying out your gear, think more "lush spa" than "clinical chic", though
there's often a place for that in some fantasies, too. Set out a stack of soft
towels, several pairs of latex or nitrile gloves that hug your fingers, extra
non-lubricated condoms to cover your toys, lots of lube, and your harness,
tightened to your specifications. You may want to practice putting your harness
on to get the fit just right. The better prepped you are, the smoother
everything will be. Getting everything ready can have an erotic charge, too,
turning you on and revealing your strap-on sexual personas -- whether that's a
wild femme top, a cool and collected lady, a fierce and tender partner-in-crime,
or all of the above.
When it comes to that first entry, keep close to him as you find his anus with
your fingers. You can tease the skin there between his legs with your hands,
while stealthily wetting your gloved hand with lube. A no-pressure way to test
him is to place the soft pad of your finger against his anus, and wait. Does he
buck back into your hand? Quiver a bit and yield? If you're sweet like that, let
him drive for a moment. Or, if you know he can take it, be firm and slide in.
Keep things creative and moving with your warm-up, pressing your body against
his, warming his bottom with your thighs or breasts, building a bit of a rhythm
with your strokes -- shallow, deep, and still. Take your own strapped-on cock
against his, slide it between his cheeks, or slap him with it wherever you like.
Think of taking him not because he wants you to do him, even if he is thrashing
and moaning like a total do-me queen -- take him when you crave taking him.
When you're ready, let him feel your cock bearing down a bit near your finger,
or fingers. As you wet your cock with more lube, you can tease him more by
stroking it, showing off for him. Listen to him. Watch his breathing, or tell
him to breathe the way you want him to, to get ready for you. Thrust with your
hand against him as he exhales. Pause on his inhale. Give him time.
Notice your tendency in this moment: do you want to check in with him about the
intensity and speed? Do you go deep into your own body and thrust with abandon?
Try to strike a balance of the two, blending careful observation and confident
strokes. Once you've found your pace, experiment with what gives you access to
all the rest of his body. As you slow down, you can find his nipples with a free
hand, or knead his cock and tease his balls. Cup his head and tug his hair to
see how hard he wants it. While kneeling up in front of him, clench his ass
cheeks with both hands, bring him to the level of your cock, and freestyle with
the harness.
When it comes to anal-play orgasms, men have some widely varying responses. You
may already know about some of his. Strap-on sex may provoke shuddering, deep,
whole-body orgasm in him, or bring him to ejaculation without any direct
stimulation of his cock. He may need you to withdraw from his ass as soon as he
comes, or he may be mid-wave and want to keep with it. Either way, a graceful
finish is key to keeping things hot.
With a towel ready to warm him, slowly slide your cock back towards you and out
of him, and loosen up your straps enough to bring your harness off. Add the
whole works to another towel (cleaning in hot, soapy water is for later), peel
off your gloves inside-out, and get your bare hands back on his body, bringing
him back, taking in his afterglow.
Or, think of what you want, once he recovers, in return.
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